She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I have fence marks all over my body
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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