bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
