Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
