hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
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