so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
