after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize
