Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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