Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
