uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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