he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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