Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
