Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
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is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
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