I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
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