"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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