You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
