i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Randomize
