I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
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After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
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Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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