3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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