One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
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