You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
