Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
