how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
My underwear smells like fireworks.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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