Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
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I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
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Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
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