I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
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