Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
he puts the penis in happiness.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
porn star boner night. come get it.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
