I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
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