Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Dignity is for republicans.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
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