and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Randomize
