Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
