i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
