do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
