I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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