just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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