So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
high people should be assigned attendants
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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