So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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