alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
