How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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