Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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