My brain says no but my pants say off.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Randomize
