is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
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