Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
