Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Randomize
