I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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