there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Randomize
