I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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