well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
