i can't believe i had my finger in that
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
