Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
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