Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
