what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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