so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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