Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Randomize
