So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I want a musical about memes.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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