This dress was meant to end up on your floor
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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