For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
