Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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