She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
