SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
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