Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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