Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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