I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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