so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Randomize
