I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
