I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
