Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
This is classic penis vs brain.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
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