I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
birth control should be required to get into college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
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