the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
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