Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff