Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
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Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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