yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
just tell him i said nine months
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.