i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes