I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.