Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Randomize
