what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
