Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
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